the breaks over
by bleuboxes
Summary: She isn't sorry for shooting him, and she doubts she ever will be.


_Baby, seasons change but people don't_

 **"The Take Over, the Breaks Over", Fall Out Boy**

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She can't believe that Coulson would ever turn to Ward for help after all that he's done to them.

He's a manipulative bastard with a rather pretty face and a chilling past and she cannot believe that she convinced herself all that sort while ago that she loved him and that he loved her right back.

And here they all are, Simmons, Fitz, May, Coulson, Ward and herself, and she wishes that ward would cut out the cuddles-and-hugs take pity on me act and just cut to the chase.

She's just staring at him, the silent gaze of her eyes pictures him dying millions of times over and over (her personal favorite is when she's crushing his head with a stone). And again, she imagines what they could have been, what they were going to become if he didn't turn out to be the self-centered traitor that he is.

Apparently, he notices all the blank stares and sighs as he begins to explain how he misses being part of a team- he misses the aspect of a family. She wants to feel bad for him but she can't because it was his choice to sell them out to Hydra; it was his choice to ruin the 'family' they had, and it was his choice to play them like they were some sort of family board game. No heartfelt speech trying to win back their favor is ever going to bring back the relationships he once had.

He apologizes for Fitz brain injury, but not for plopping them in the ocean and she tells herself he's no help to Coulson with his throat ripped out. And he apologies again for things that she hasn't quite forgotten, as if sorry is going to fix all the troubles he's caused them.

And she decides to tell him that she's not sorry for shooting him; in fact, she would do it again in two shakes of a lambs tail because he broke hear heart and destroyed the first family she's ever had and that's more painful than the most torturous of wounds.

Maybe, she thinks, this is how her father felt when he lost his wife and his child – she feels so unbelievably broken that it is impossible to pick up all the pieces and put them back together. She knows that it's no reason to become a psychotic maniac, but this seems to be the closest she's ever been to understanding her father's motives; the grief is eating her up inside and she just wants to crush everything that's in her vicinity.

The easy part is knowing that she doesn't really care is Ward still likes her, because she knows that he never really did – she was just an asset, another pretty face, an obstacle that needed to be thrown out of the picture. The hardest part is convincing herself that at this moment, he's not the enemy; now would not be an appropriate time for her to bash his brains in or skin him alive to pay for what he's done to her and her friends.

And it isn't that he doesn't deserve it, because he does. But he's not the good ole god he makes himself out to be and she's not the lonely misfit orphan anymore – she isn't even human, for that matter, but she knows who she is and she's proud of all that she has accomplished without Ward's watchful eye. She is her own – not Ward's, not her Mother's, and not her Father's.

So no, she isn't sorry for shooting him, and she doubts she ever will be.

Then, to her great delight, Coulson makes the wonderful decision of pairing her up with her best friend in the world. (Does she need to explain any further?) She pens up all her anger and every other emotion contained inside her, hoping he doesn't start an earthquake or something, and agrees to go on the mission with Ward for the sake of her team, not for him.

Coulson finishes explaining the grand plan he's schemed up with his old new friend, Ward and then they're off to Hydra's base in god-knows-where to rescue Lincoln and Mike. The plane ride there is really quite awful and the landing is anything but smooth, but infiltrating a state of the art physicality isn't as simple as the movies make it out to be (and neither are relationships, so boo hiss.)

She isn't that concerned with Ward being with her anymore, she still hates him and wishes he were cat chow, but she knows that somewhere in his tiny little black heart, that he has at least the decency to care a tiny bit about her wellbeing, well at least he did; she knows that people never really do change and she knows that Ward must have felt something towards her in the past. And maybe that tiny bit of trust will help her get through this mission so she can tear out his liver.

They have a little run in with some guards and she uses her new and improves alien mojo to take them out without shooting a round, and she almost smiles and dances in glee with the look of shock, terror and a little bit of hurt on Wards face.

She doesn't really care to remember what happened after that, just there insider took a bullet, well bomb, for their traitor friend, who decided to say enough is enough and just left when they got back to base. Then her other inhuman friend decided he didn't want to trust SHEILD and she felt that she was losing the trust of everyone she knew. She hates it, she hates feeling so conflicted with herself. She hates being torn between choosing her family over her team, her kin over her friends. She just wants to go back to the days where it was simple black and white; where good and bad were equally transparent.

But then, she remembers, that was a time long before her, and there really isn't anything she can do about it. (But that doesn't mean she's given up on pounding Ward's head in; there will _always_ be time for that.

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 **Hello Friends! I've been wanting to write something for AOS for a while now, but I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to write about. I never really shipped SkyWard to hard, but I liked the anger that was chortling around in the air when Ward reappeared, and I decided that might be something I could work with.**

 **So, I hoped it didn't suck too bad. If you liked it, please review, favorite (or follow if you must, its a one shot though, so it isn't going to continue)**

 **Also, if you're into Doctor who, Supernatural, or the Lunar Chronicles, you should check out some of my other stories! And im currently working with theshippingprince on a Age of Ultron fic, so the first chappie of that should be up soon.**

 **Thank you!**

 **bleuboxes**


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